This is my gorgeous, smart, sweet-as-hell friend Shira Burstein:
Actually, she is my sister’s friend, for many many years (I’ve posted a picture of the two of them from many moons ago at the bottom of this post;)). We have considered her family for a very long time now and I am so proud of the woman she has grown up to become. She wrote me this article and I wanted to share it with you because, well, I love her ideas and insight. So few people connect what we put in our bodies with how they work! Here’s a bit of her story and how she figured it out…and quick!
Recently, during a particularly stressful day I found myself grabbing for my ‘go to’ large frozen pizza and a Ben and Jerrys’ pint of Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. I had been so ‘good’ so healthy and clean in my diet and the way I treat my body…so what was going on? Human beings don’t always eat because we are hungry. We eat for a variety of reasons. Food can be the tangential encounter to the entire gamut of emotional experiences. We can eat when we are stressed, lonely, afraid, bored or even use it as a celebration. The problem with using food as an emotional bandage is that it doesn’t solve anything. For me, seeing the bottom of that ice cream container really didn’t solve a thing! In fact the aftermath of the moment caused me to feel guilty and angry leading into unrelenting self-disparagement. I imagine I’m not the only one who has had this experience. The proverbial ‘icing on the cake’ then turns into another round of emotional eating creating an even bigger problem. The question remains how do we stop this conundrum? How do I stop it and how do I address the connection eating has with mental wellness when my own clients bring these issues up in my professional life as a therapist?
All of us use food from time to time as a source for either comfort or celebration. It is when food becomes our ‘go to’ tool <like my nightmareish dairy and carb binge> for coping that we are create a multifaceted problem. The foods that we go to for comfort are usually deleterious to our health. Either loaded with sugar, refined carbohydrates or loaded with saturated fats. These foods trigger a part of our brain that is linked to addictive behavior. Pringles, didn’t re-invent the wheel when they came up with the slogan, “Once you pop, you can’t stop!” In fact it should be looked at as a Surgeon General Warning both for our bodies and our minds. There have been multiple studies that have shown that sugar and saturated fats are just as addictive as cocaine. In fact, I find them to be even more dangerous because they are all around us and so easily accessible.
So what is the solution? I started thinking about my training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT talks about changing maladaptive thoughts in order to change our affect and behavior. The use of helping people challenge and replace the tendency to magnify negatives, engage in self-defeating thoughts and distortions. These distortions can be about who we are and what we are capable, or deserving of for example. CBT looks to replace these negative thoughts with more realistic, mindful and positive thoughts, leading then to positive behavioral choices.
Perhaps we need to recognize the potential danger inherent in these foods and work to extinguish the habituated response that is often triggered first by the emotional catalyst.
If I find myself searching in the pantry or the refrigerator at the first sign of being upset, angry, lonely, tired, anxious I try and ask myself what is truly underlying on an emotional level? The more frequently I use food as an emotional salve the stronger that behavior becomes and the more unclear I will be as to what the costs and benefits are of using food in place of using my intellect or self-awareness. Maybe the answer is to find alternative thoughts about the food we put inside our body so that we can fully address emotional triggers and not put ourselves in a dangerous cycle. Food is such a powerful part of our lives. It can be the impetus for ill health both physically and emotionally, or it can be the source of vitality and power. The choice is yours as to how you want to deal with it. What are some ways or techniques that you find helpful when you find yourself parked in the pantry or refrigerator?
Shira Burstein, LCSW